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Maggots and Fruit Flies

Maggots and Fruit Flies

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Today is Friday.  It’s trash day.  I think I got in trouble for forgetting to put it out last night.  I didn’t forget.  I just didn’t think about it.  You see, we got home late from a crappy dinner, and I went upstairs to lie on the couch and watch some TV.  Sure, why not?
Food Net

Photo Credit: Food52


In any event, I thought I heard words coming from the kitchen.  She only said them once, so I figured, they weren’t important.  So silly.  Everything is important.  Part of the problem is I’m going deaf.  I haven’t been clinically diagnosed, but it’s happening. I think.  On top of that, the TV was way too loud.  (I’m going deaf, remember.)  Minutes later, I heard the trash cans being dragged.  That’s when I pieced together the words that might have been coming from the kitchen.  Something to the effect of “….the trash…. needs to be taken…. out.”  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s the neighbors.

The cans only need to go like 5 feet, but I knew they were a “temper altering” 5 feet.  Either way, I was delinquent in my duties.  I decided to check out the Garage Cam on the phone.  By then, all I saw was the garage door closing.  It was too late to pretend to be helpful, so I figured it would be wiser to get ready for “The Showdown.”

“There were maggots ALL OVER THE PLACE!”  Ha, an indirect attack. I figured I probably shouldn’t respond with “What do you want me to do about that?”  Instead, I opted for “Really! That’s crazy.  They  weren’t there last week.”  Here’s the thing, the tone was more of a “Hey jerk, I had to take out the trash myself AND THERE WERE MAGGOTS.  I do everything… yada, yada, yada.”  I might have misunderstood.  I don’t know where maggots come from, nor do I know how they got there.  It didn’t matter.  ” I guess we can try to produce less trash.”  My plan was to say very little and be thankful that the maggots took the brunt of the heat for me.

Here’s the thing, I don’t know why we got maggots this week and not last.  My guess is it’s all that wonderfully fresh and organic food we have been eating.  I wanted to help solve the problem, but I didn’t think it was time to play man and “solve problems.”  I figured it was more of a “don’t say too much and just listen.”  Maggots happen.  Some times they show up, other times. They don’t.  So I’d like to thank the maggots for taking one for the team.

Onto the Fruit flies.  We have a lot of fruit flies.  I mean a lot!  So many that they fly into our neighbor’s condo.  We were at her house once and asked if we get a lot of fruit flies.  I was just as upset (and embarrassed.)  Yeah, I don’t know where they are coming from.

Fruit flies are a pain in the ass and seem impossible to get rid.  I proposed a fly strip, but those are toxic.  We can’t have toxic shit around the house, not like the tons of other plastic toxins in the house.

We now have a cute food covering thing.  You know, the kind that you find on Pinterest, then buy on Etsy.  Yeah, you know the one (target audience.)

Here’s what I don’t understand. On the one hand, I no longer have fruit flies hovering around my face; on the other hand, they seem to be trapped under the net, where the food is. I’m not sure it’s supposed to work that way, but good for those guys. Are fruit flies bad for your food?

My first inclination is to try and solve these problems.  Instead, I decided to embrace all these perceived shortcomings as part of the bounty that is eating nature’s bounty as provided by the lovely farmer’s market.

Have a great weekend.

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Wednesday 1st of October 2014


Hilarious post. You can use a glass and a piece of saran wrap tightly over the top. Take a toothpick and poke holes all over the top and set the glass on the counter or near where they are active. Fill the glass a quarter of the way with vinegar. They will go thru the plastic to get the the vinegar, but for some reason can't find their way back out. Your post got me thinking because anytime we've ever gotten maggots, I've always blamed it on regular flies, but it always amazed me how one or two flies could make so many after some research I see that fruit flies make maggots too! Yuck!. Anyway here's two good links I found, one that explains the cycle and one that talks about another trap. your wife's a better woman than me, i won't go within 10 feet of a maggot, thats his job, lol. In fat once i know they've been in the house I will constantly scratch and look over my shoulder in fear for days, lol...yeah, it's an issue. Good luck and take care. Lisa


Saturday 27th of September 2014

This story slays on so many levels. I get both his and her viewpoints. You need to write more Laudalino! Thanks for the laughs, smiles and truths about interpersonal relationships.


Saturday 27th of September 2014

Thanks, Brooks. I'm a behind the scenes kinda' guy. I'll peak through the curtain every once in a while, but...


Saturday 27th of September 2014

we once had a fruit fly problem and found a great trick for getting rid of them: put a little bit of red wine -- doesn't have to be much -- in a tall glass. make a funnel out of paper (I actually would make a cone and snip off the end so the small opening isn't too big) and tape the largest end around the glass.

the fruit flies are attracted by the wine, but they can get in, but can't get out. we did that in our spacious two-bedroom apt a few years ago over a week and nipped the problem in the bud.

we also poured some bleach down the drains. fruit fries can like drains.


Saturday 27th of September 2014

Good idea, Maryann. The problem is, there is never any wine left over for the fruit flies. If there is, then we have a bunch of drunk fruit flies around the house making a ton of noise and no sense at all. They puke all over the counter and walk into appliances and cookbooks. Fruit fly music is totally grating. Nevermind mind trying to get their little clothes of and getting them into bed. Yeah, those drunk fruit flies are no fun.

I like the bleach idea. :)


Saturday 27th of September 2014

Maggots taking one for the team made me laugh out loud. You are a wise, wise man to lie low. We used to have those problems at my house, the ones where I said something and he didn't hear me. Then I got mad and did the thing myself. I finally figured out that I needed to stop speaking from a whole 'nother room if I wanted to be heard, especially if a game is on television. Life is so much simpler now. If only the fruit fly problem were as easy to solve.


Saturday 27th of September 2014

Stacy, If you add that one party has a propensity for having ADD, or just blank stares, then you're in for a world of hurt. It's only communication if your message is received. In my case, it may require a nod a with direct eye contact.

I was just having fun with this. Denise was pretty grossed out about the team playing maggots. I look at it this way, as a young man, I never had a problem with maggots or fruit flies because they don't like MacDonalds. It's the small price to pay for eating good food. It's like a "Seal of Approval" from nature's little friends.