Life. Love. Death. Birth. Life’s little quirks that keep us on our toes. Laughter. Joy. Tears. Smiles. All of these experiences are scary and can leave one feeling exhilarated. They are hard to explain and hard to express, the proper way, or I should say eloquently.
I have not stopped thinking about Jennie since August 7, at 610pm, when I saw her tweet that her heart was shattered. You know when that wave of “oh no” sways over you, that is exactly what happened. I mentioned to Lenny that something had happened to Jennie and I had a feeling it was bad. We talk about it every day. We talk about Jennie every day. We hold each other a little tighter in the mornings….. when saying “see you later”. It has affected us even if we are not closer.
I have been meaning to reach out to Jennie for months now. Time grabs me. I get busy. I don’t reach out. I feel terrible about that. I think about her everyday, this is the honest truth. We had the short but sweet pleasure to met in person a couple years. We shared smiles, joy, laughter, wine and stories of Mikey. She got to met my love in person, I got to met hers through her contagious smile and loving words. He was a kind man, a man of virtue, a man who loved his wife and children. A man who was just not into doing dishes when she was gone. Maybe he called to talk about dish soap because he really wanted to hear his wife’s voice. He probably did not care about soap or dishes. Lenny and I both remember that story; we both think of Jennie, Mikey and doing dishes, every time our hands are submerged in suds.
We were traveling for work and could not get to making A Pie for Mikey until this week. We invited a dear friend over who has been celebrating his partner’s tests coming back cancer free. That night we shared a meal, wine, laughter and we celebrated Mikey as well as Life. We had a pie for Mikey. I followed Jennie’s recipe as this was a pie for Mikey; I couldn’t change it. The only thing I did differently was half the recipe to make a smaller portion and I toasted the peanuts before laying them on the melted chocolate. Something about non-toasted peanuts freaks me out. I think I may have whipped the cream cheese and peanut butter too much as it had a mousse like texture and was very light. But, it was really good. I mean really good. The pie was nutty, creamy and luxurious. It didn’t last, we finished it all. Mikey would have been proud.
When I thought about this write-up, I tossed around all sorts of ways to express what we are feeling for Jennie; but, there really are no words. We have not walked in Jennie’s shoes, and we only dread feeling the pain and anger she is experiencing. What we can do is be there for her to listen, comfort and nourish.
Jennie – our hearts are with you and your girls not only today, but, every day.